Bittersweet Endeavors Read online

  * * *

  “We must pray he’s still alive, Myra.” Lucia held her hands tight.

  “I’m carrying Seth’s child, Lucia,” she said quietly. Myra put a hand on her belly and caressed it gently. “How shall I ever survive without him, Lucia?” Her head cradled within her hands and she wept. Lucia placed her head onto Myra’s lap and they cried together. “Do you think it true, Lucia? Could Zachary have only said that so I’d go with him?” She grasped at any excuse which helped her believe that Seth still lived.

  “Aye, he tells the truth,” she said quietly. “I overheard the Prestons’ speaking about it a while back ago, when they’d not received a missive from Seth announcing he had arrived safely. I wanted you spared of the news until they confirmed it true.”

  “You believe him dead, don’t you, Lucia?”

  Lucia took both her hands into her own. Her face was full of sorrow. “Aye, I do,” she said. “I want to believe he is still out there and in fine condition, truly, but tis been five months past and not a word saying he has arrived safely. And now that the Prestons’ have received two missives in confirmation of his disappearance, it appears the worst mayhap has happened. He wouldn’t let his parents, or you, worry needlessly if he was alive.”

  Myra nodded her head. “Tis true, he wouldn’t hurt them.”

  “What shall you do now?”

  “I don’t know, Lucia.” A long, breathy sigh sounded. Drops of large tears met the corners of her eyes. Again, she’d lost someone that she loved. She closed her eyes and said a quick prayer, and requested that her parents care for Seth if he’d made his way into the Heavens.

  Voices resounded off the walls of the kitchen and startled them both. The two men neared the outside door. Myra stiffened. “Tis Mister Preston and Mister Frederickson!” Myra’s voice hushed out as she and Lucia ducked beneath the table lest the men entered the room. “Perhaps he’s here for my answer. What shall I do, Lucia?” she asked, frightened. The men remained outside the door, and Myra and Lucia strained to listen as they conversed.

  “T’was an overwhelming vote by the General Assembly for the Partus Doctrine. I don’t know why the House didn’t resolve this issue earlier.”

  She heard a grunt of apprehensive approval from Anvil.

  “I have more than several mixed race negroes in my employ. “Thus,” Zachary said warily, “We must prepare ourselves for a revolt if there’s any objection to the law.”

  “There is only one who shall be affected by it at my household,” Anvil quietly stated.

  “Hmm,” Zachary smiled. “So the titter tatter about that girl, Lucia, is true?”

  Anvil’s reply wasn’t heard, and Myra wasn’t sure if he even offered one, but she suspected Zachary already knew of Lucia’s parentage but hoped he’d goad Anvil into a confession to cause him discomfort.

  “I’d be honored if you and Myra join me for my evening meal tonight,” he said, and averted the conversation, effectively providing Anvil a reprieve.

  “Surely it’s not appropriate under the circumstances,” Anvil finally said after a brief pause.

  “Circumstances?” Zachary asked, but then in afterthought added, “Oh, the situation with your son.”

  “Aye,” Mister Preston replied, his tone full of sadness.

  “Certainly tis too early to go into full bereavement, Anvil. You’ve yet to secure his body. Surely your formal mourning can wait at least another sennight.”

  Callous to the core, Myra thought. He was a heartless beast!

  “We shall dine tonight,” Anvil replied, but he didn’t sound overly fond of the idea. “But for the sake of propriety, we shall gather at my home.”

  Their voices trailed off and she assumed they were walking away. Myra released a breath of relief. “What are they talking about, Lucia?” Myra stood and peeked out the door, and made sure that the men were a safe distance away. When Myra turned around to face Lucia, she saw tears drench down Lucia’s cheeks and her chest heaved with panted breaths.

  “What, Lucia?” Myra wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. “Pray tell, Lucia. What is this all about? What has troubled you so?”

  Lucia pulled away and swiped the tears from her eyes, but fresh, silent tears emerged. “I’m ashamed for you to see me so selfishly upset after the word you’ve received about Seth.

  “My pain doesn’t cause your pain to dull any less, Lucia. I beseech you; tell me what the matter is?

  “The Partus Doctrine they spoke of…It repeals my freedom. The new law is about children like me, those who have been sired by a white Englishman and a Negro mother.”

  “Oh Lucia, you know how bad I am with matters of state. What does it mean?”

  “They revoked English law and now I’m a slave to the Preston’s.”

  “Oh, Lucia, but you are white! You’re white as my very own skin. Surely they’d not force you into slavery.”

  Lucia lowered her head and her voice was barely audible. “I’ll never leave here now, Myra, and I’ll never find my mother.” She tried to stifle her sobs, but the more she tried, the harder the tears fell.

  “Do not say that,” Myra scorned. “We’ll find a way to get you out of this. You must hold onto hope!”

  “I know we shall,” she answered, almost convincingly, but Myra knew she felt no faith in in it becoming true. Lucia swiped her tears and forced a smile. “I have to go, Myra. I promised Mrs. Preston I’d fetch some things from the mercantile today. I best be on my way if I intend to be back by nightfall.” She rubbed away the fresh tears and sniffed back the ones that remained from her inner torment. “I shall think on what you may do about Mr. Frederickson whilst I walk.” She hugged Myra again. “And I am truly sorry about Seth. As you, I’m greatly pained by the news,” she added before walking out the door.

  Myra stood in the kitchen and bit hard on her bottom lip. It seemed the only way to hold the tears in check that unmercifully fell. She’d lost too much, and she couldn’t allow a man like Zachary Frederickson to defeat her now. Nor would she let someone as sweet as Lucia relinquish her dream of finding her mother, regardless of what laws passed in Jamestown or anywhere else. There were few options to choose, and although she detested Zachary Frederickson, a marriage to him might prove to be more useful to her than not. Within a short time, her child would grow large within her womb, and without a husband, the child would be marked a bastard and scorned by townsfolk. If married, the babe would have a name. She could also be in an advantageous situation where she might gain Lucia’s bond. With his resources and wealth, they could return to England ahead of her current servitude time frame and save Mary, as well as find Lucia’s mother. She resigned herself to her fate, as there were many benefits by having a union with Zachary Frederickson. How in good conscience can she refuse when one action, not matter how repugnant, could spare so many others from pain?

  With Seth lost to her, marriage to Zachary Frederickson was her only chance at freedom. As long as Zachary Frederickson held her bond, there was no escaping him. Whether she married him or not, he’d have his way with her. As his servant, she’d gain nothing. Yet as his wife, she’d equally gain as much as she lost.

  “Aye,” she said quietly. “Marriage to Zachary Frederickson is the only resolution.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  215

  “You look lovely,” Zachary remarked with raised brows when Myra entered the dining hall. His expression held that of debauched pleasure. Astonishment covered all the Preston family’s expressions, and they registered the same amazement as Zachary by her appearance. The dress Zachary delivered to her earlier that day fitted every curve of her upper body as if tailored for her. The skirt was full with petticoats that had sufficiently hidden the small bump within her growing belly. Yet, it wasn’t a difficult task. She’d lost more weight than gained the past many months since Seth’s absence.

  “I agree,” Mrs. Preston added. “You are very lovely this evening, Myra.” She smiled, and reached over to pat Myra�
��s hand in a comforting, motherly way.

  Myra saw condolence in the shimmer of her brown, troubled eyes, and she returned her silent sentiment to Anna with a nod, and added, “I’m sorry for the saddened news of your son, Madam. Tis a great loss to us all.” She wondered if she was aware of her and Seth’s relationship prior to his departure, as well as the situation her husband had placed her in with Zachary Frederickson.

  “Oh, Myra, how I wish Seth—” Margaret began, but Anvil quickly cut her off.

  “If I’m not mistaken,” Anvil began as he cleared his throat. “I believe Zachary would like to make an announcement.”

  Everyone quieted and all eyes followed Zachary’s as his stare moved to Myra.

  Myra swallowed hard and reluctantly nodded approval for him to begin. Myra looked at Margaret. Confusion, yet a twinge of excitement registered on Margaret’s face and caused Myra a heavy pang of guilt. She supposed that Margaret thought he was finally going to formally announce his and Margaret’s engagement, as he had promised he’d do so long ago. With the turn of events, Margaret would hate her after that night. The man she loved and dreamt of marrying would now be lost to her. Without revealing the truth, there was no way to spare her the pain, and with her own loss of Seth, Myra could empathize with Margaret’s devastation to the news.

  A lecherous smile crept on Zachary’s lips and he stood with his glass of wine raised in the air. Tipping his glass toward Anvil, he began. He looked down at Myra and offered his hand to her, and although she was hesitant, she accepted it. She rose and stood at his side.

  “Your young Myra has honored me by accepting my proposal of marriage.”

  There were no smiles or congratulations offered. Only looks of incredulity. A blatant look of disgust appeared on the faces of Seth’s two younger sisters, Patience and Rachel. They knew their brother loved Myra and they clearly felt she betrayed him now, even in death. The hate she saw in their eyes unnerved her. However, the pain shown on Margaret’s face caused her the most heartache. Myra much rather had seen hate, but hurt and anguish washed over Margaret as she stared appallingly at Zachary Frederickson.

  Margaret rose, stared fretfully at Myra, and threw her napkin atop of her plate. Without a by your leave, she ran from the room in a fit-full of tears. Patience and Rachel lowered their heads and stared at their empty plates, and only peered upward long enough to gaze angrily at Myra.

  Myra rose from the table and had intended to follow Margaret, wanting to explain her sorrow and regret, but she stopped the moment her eyes followed the path Margaret had taken. There, in the doorway, stood Seth and he looked tired and worn from his travel. Never before had she seen such torment in anyone’s eyes—not even Margaret. Still, he recovered quickly from Zachary’s shocking announcement. He straightened to his full six-foot frame height and pierced a deadly stare aimed at her.

  All the air escaped Myra’s lungs in one large, frightful gasp. Her knees buckled, and before she was afforded the opportunity to sit or thank God that Seth still lived, she collapsed. But it wasn’t the floor that she hit, or Zachary’s arms that caught her when she fainted — it was the strong, protective arms of Seth.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  215

  “You knew my intentions were to marry Myra! How could you give her to that man?” Seth paced with long, forceful strides inside his father’s study. “You had the power to stop this!”

  “Why would you want her back, Seth?” He placed his hand comfortingly on Seth’s shoulder. Seth shrugged him off and moved to the other side of the room. His father took exception to the gesture and released a low growl, then loudly cleared his throat. “Although elated that your ship has finally returned safely to port, I’m going to tell you the truth forthwith. You are a man now, and I think tis time you become wise to the ways of women. Especially that one you fancy yourself to be in love with,” he hissed.

  “Please do, father,” he said exasperated. “Tis exactly what I want. I need to know the truth of what happened whilst I was away!”

  “I overheard Myra speaking to that servant girl,” he said referring to Lucia. “I overheard Myra is with child,” he whispered, as not to be overheard.

  Seth let out a heavy breath and lost all his anger for Myra in that single moment. “Myra? Myra is . . .” A warm feeling tingled within him. Of course, that was why she’d agree to marry Frederickson. It all made sense to Seth. How could he be angry with her for wanting to protect herself and their child? They all thought him dead, and with Myra being with child, her reputation would have been in tatters.

  He wanted to go to her and explain that he understood and didn’t blame her for the decision she had made to accept Frederickson’s proposal. He took urgent steps toward the door.

  “Tis not yours,” his father said softly before Seth passed the threshold.

  Seth whirled around. Confusion and denial scattered his thoughts. “Of course it is, father. I know Myra. She’d not have betrayed me.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Although we didn’t come forward and announce our intent, I know you’ve suspected about my feelings for Myra before I left, and my honorable intentions.”

  His father looked surprised. He shook his head and a look of sadness and pity shadowed over him. “Then, my son, tis best you know the truth before it’s too late. You have been cuckolded by that girl.”

  “How can you be so sure the child isn’t mine?”

  “You’ve seen her yourself, Seth!” he chided. “You’ve been gone for five months and she isn’t yet showing with child. Certainly if it was yours we’d have taken notice of its growth by now.”

  Frustrated and confused, Seth rubbed at his aching temples. He recalled taking her into his arms not one hour before and she felt light as a feather, not that of a woman who claimed to be five months along with a child.

  Anvil walked to Seth’s side and gripped him by the shoulders. He forced Seth to look at him. Seth wanted to pull away, but he stared into his father’s penetrating gaze. He had never seen his father so adamant.

  “Listen to me, Seth. If that’s not proof enough, I heard her admit that it’s Zachary’s child,” he stammered. “As I suspected all along, she’s been seeking wealth, son. Can’t you see that? T’was only this morning that she learned of your probable death, and she accepted his proposal immediately thereafter. With you gone, she decided to take the next available man who has a purse large enough to suit her needs.”

  “Nay, tis not true.” Seth shook his head. It wasn’t true. Myra loved him and not the wealth he could offer her. Myra wouldn’t do this to him!

  “Trust that my words are true, Seth. As you are aware, I have been through such myself. As you, I, too, was betrayed by someone of her kind in much the same manner as you.”

  “She’s not Hester, father,” Seth quietly replied, and only mildly surprised by his father’s mention of Lucia’s mother. Yet his father was right. Hester had done exactly as Myra, betrayed one man to be with another.

  “Damn it, Seth!” His father’s gruff voice brought him to attention and Seth looked at his father. “Be a man and accept this. Think no more of that chit. You heard the rumors yourself. The way she goes about stating The King’s her cousin…although she’ll not make royal status with this marriage, she has made a fine catch and will somewhat fulfill her fanciful notion of obtaining status. She never loved you, Seth, only what you could offer her.”

  “Nay, tis not true,” he repeated, barely above a whisper, but his father’s argument was convincing, and he had to consider it as being truth. “I must leave…I must think about this.” He charged out of the room.

  Did she betray him? He leaned against the closed door and the invading idea of Myra making love to Zachary, all for the purpose of rising in the ranks sickened him. Did she ever love him at all?

  Damn her!

  * * *

  “Myra?” A soft, gentle voice called to her. She slightly opened her eyes to Lucia leaning over her. A hand ta
pped her cheeks and urged her to wake. “You’ve swooned, Myra, but you have to awake.”

  Myra’s eyes opened full to Lucia’s panicked tone. “What happened?” she asked, but then quickly remembered the answer to her question. “I swooned.” The full memory of the events flooded back into her mind. “Oh, Seth,” she breathed out. “He’s alive,” she said joyously. Then her heart fell and she felt alarm rise within her. “He heard Zachary’s announcement! Oh, how he must hate me.” She closed her eyes again and leaned back.

  “Don’t you dare catch the vapors again, Myra,” Lucia sternly ordered. “Zachary plans to return and fetch you this very night! What happened tonight? What have you done, Myra?” Lucia grabbed her by the shoulders and lightly shook her until her eyes opened again.

  She rose from the bed, and Myra swayed on her feet. A sickening feeling churned at her belly. Myra returned to the bed and lowered her head into her hands. “Did you see him? Did you see Seth?”

  “He carried you here and left immediately thereafter. There’s been so much commotion in the ten minutes past,” she said, and emphasized her confusion by raising her hands into the air. “Seth stormed out of here as if to kill someone and moments later I heard him and Frederickson arguing. Shortly after, Margaret began to yell and scream at Zachary too. I peeked outside and they were all in the garden shouting. All the while, that Mister Frederickson kept an arrogant smile on his face and inwardly laughed at them all! I could see it in his eyes.”

  “Where is Zachary now?” she asked, alarmed. “I must find a way to get to Seth before Zachary comes to retrieve me. I can’t let him think—”

  The door opened and a gust of cool air swept into the small room. Zachary was at her side in a few swift steps.

  “Leave us,” he harshly ordered to Lucia.

  Myra feared that Lucia would defy him, but she silently warned her to obey his command. Although reluctant, Lucia quit the room.

  “Are you feeling better, love?” he asked.